"Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, "Oh, thank god he's one of the good ones.""…
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"You don't need no gun control. We need some bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. If a bullet cost $5,000, there'll be no more innocent bystanders. Every…
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"You never think when you're a little girl that you're going to grow up and be hooking up with everyone. When I was a little girl, I was like, "Oh…
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"I have a 16-year-old daughter. She's growing up and I don't know when it happened. I came home the other day and I'm helping my wife fold clothes. I pick…
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"50 Cent is a hero to me because he's overcome so many things. He's been shot nine times and lived. I had a cousin got shot once in the ankle.…
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"When white people go on break at their job. 15 minutes. They go to their desk. They eat their cheese sandwich. Drink their God damn tea. 15 minutes they're back…
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"For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah." —…
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"Every time I see a 'Save the Bees' campaign, I think, 'Sure, but who's going to save us from the bees?' I mean, have you ever actually been stung? It's…
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"When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. Buy my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died…
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"Celebrities are just like us; they put their pants on one leg at a time, but they do it with a team of stylists watching." — Andrew Schulz Andrew Schulz…
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