"I went out with a guy the other night. He goes, “You know, Chelsea, you don’t have to drink to make yourself more fun to be around.” I’m like, “Listen,…
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"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, you give me…
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""I woke up in an ambulance. And it wasn't nothing but white people staring at me. I said, "Ain't this a bitch. I done died and wound up in the…
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"I've been fired a lot. I prefer to call it just another stop on my Burning Bridges Tour." — Maria Bamford Maria Bamford is one of the most distinctive voices…
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"I was doing an interview once, and this guy goes, "So you must be pretty psyched about all this 'Slumdog Millionaire' stuff?" And I was like, "Um, yeah, I am."…
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"Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as pain-go-bye-bye juice?" — Patton Oswalt Patton Oswalt’s journey from stand-up comic to Hollywood favorite is one of hard work, raw…
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"Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking." —…
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This is Blind Line, the improv game where players act out a scene and must randomly pull and incorporate unexpected, pre-written lines of dialogue into the story. The results? Hilarious,…
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"Ever argue with a female and in the middle of the argument you no longer feel safe… You know what my girl will do? When she get mad, she'll start…
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In "An Improv Scene," the players have to create a fun, spontaneous scenario with no script—just quick thinking and creativity. This time, what starts as a normal visit to the…
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